3 Common Reasons Females May Be Struggling with Intimacy – and Tips to Help
1. Vaginal Dryness
Vaginal dryness is common during pregnancy, postpartum, menopause, and at different times in a woman’s menstrual cycle. The pelvic floor muscles play a significant role in arousal and lubrication, so when they’re not functioning optimally, it can lead to dryness. If you’re experiencing this, using a water-based lubricant can be very helpful. My favorite brand is Good Clean Love
2. Pelvic Floor Tightness
Pelvic floor tightness is common for many of the same reasons as dryness, but it can also occur due to weakness in the surrounding muscles, a history of trauma to the area, chronic anxiety or stress, or overuse.
My top tip for dealing with a tight pelvic floor is to focus on pelvic floor awareness and connection. The pelvic floor is often an area we’re not consciously aware of, so simply telling yourself to “just relax” isn’t going to be effective. A great starting point is deep belly breathing combined with imagery. For the imagery, imagine a flower at the opening of the vagina. As you inhale, the flower should open and expand. As you exhale, the flower gently closes. Practice this for 5-10 breaths each day.
3. The Pain-Brain-Fear Cycle
The pain-brain-fear cycle is a feedback loop where pain and fear interact, often reinforcing and intensifying the experience of both. If you’ve had a painful experience with intimacy in the past, your body may try to “protect” you. This can manifest as pelvic floor tightness, involuntary muscle contractions to prevent penetration, anxiety, fear, and more. While this can be challenging to overcome, my initial tip is to create a positive association with intimacy. You can do this by establishing a safe, supportive environment, making sure your partner is aware of your symptoms, and using positive affirmations such as, “I am safe.”
For more tips on dealing with intimacy and pelvic health, come see a pelvic health PT at Crossphysio!